"While often conflated, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths differ. Narcissists lack empathy and crave validation to feed their ego. Sociopaths and psychopaths are clinical forms of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), characterized by a total disregard for social norms. Unlike narcissists, true psychopaths and sociopaths lack a guilt-driven moral compass entirely." --Google AI

Oh for the days of the scariest things being found in a children's movie about a little girl from Kansas, just trying to get back home safely with her little doggie. You know, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"  

But in the real world we have instead far worse to contend with: Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths

The worst thing is we are told these types of people cannot change, that they are born this way and that their childhoods somehow made them this way. So, which is it? Were they born this way? Or did something horrific happen in their childhoods that stunted them somehow and caused one of these terrible disorders? 

I will not say that there are not people who are born bad. Scripture speaks of them as vessels of wrath. These are people who God knew were bad, right out of the womb. Yep! They come out of the womb, lying. Obviously, these are the people who reject Jesus right up to their earthly death. But what about the others?

Psalm 58:3 KJV The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

Romans 9:22-23 KJV What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:  And that he might make known the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, which he had afore prepared unto glory,

What about people who receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior and then become one of these types of people? What about people who become one of these types of people and later receive Jesus? Are they also hopeless? Is there no change for them?

In my search for answers for the reason some family members treat(ed) me poorly, I began learning about these disorders. It scared me to think that people who I love could have been doomed from birth with something they could never come out of or had some derailing catastrophic event as a child, even in an otherwise good childhood. I mean, that does not seem fair that people could be doomed this way, to no choice of their own. And God is fair, He is just. Even those born, "The wicked," make that choice themselves to be such. God just knew it. The scripture that speaks of God allowing these people to be born, answers the question as to why God allowed them to be born, while he had this foreknowledge of them.

Suddenly, every family member who ever treated me poorly fit into one of these personality disorders. And they were everywhere, Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths! OH MY!

What was I to do? How was I to handle people who were not in control of themselves? How was I to think about things done to me? I mean, if they were not in control of themselves, should I view anything bad they ever did to me in the same manner I would view a baby biting me? And how do I pray for someone like this? If there is no hope for them, what do I pray?

Then one day it hit me. Even with the wicked, there's a choice to be such a way. (God, however, knew before the foundation of the world who those people would be, those who would fully and forever reject Jesus. And He allowed them to be born and live here, so that we could see the contrast.) So, surely there is a choice to behave wickedly for those who are not technically, "The Wicked."

Scripture says when we walk in the flesh, we sin and when we walk in the spirit, we do not sin. Scripture does not ever say a word about there being Christians who are incapable of walking in the spirit and not sinning. God never says a thing about narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. Flesh and spirit. That's it! It is one or the other. Either we are walking in the flesh and sinning, or we are walking the spirit and not sinning. That is what it comes down to, walking in the flesh or walking in the spirit. We can say, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths. But they are just people walking in the flesh. If they were walking in the spirit, they could not be behaving in any sinful way.

Someone once told me, in response to me trying to figure out why a person was treating me so poorly, "Not everyone is like you." I am an empath, an empath who has been scapegoated my entire life. No, I cannot do what some family members have done to me. I could never harm others like that. It is just not in me. I can't even get even with them. Believe, me I have tried. I just cannot carry through with it. 

This is not to say that I go along with sinful behavior. I am very capable of standing up against sin. I do not knowingly, go along to get along. However, it took me decades to learn that it is even a sin to allow people to harm one's self. It took tremendous pain from a health issue, largely brought on by anxiety, and learning from a specialist doctor that I either take care of myself and set boundaries with people or I might as well sign myself up for a nursing home, due to an impending stroke. And I have learned that scripture commands us to guard our own person.  

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

This scripture in Proverbs is telling us to "with all diligence," meaning above all else, "ALL" diligence," keep (Guard) your heart (your very person). Then it says that out of it are (flow or come) the issues of life (health: spiritual, physical, and emotional.)

I learned to diligently protect myself. And I sought out answers as to why family has treated me so poorly, so that I could let go of this deep seeded lie that told me to above all else care for them. A lie that said they did not have control over themselves, that they needed me to put up with their behavior and that I was doing wrong to them, if I even tried to get them to stop. I learned however, that while I cannot stop them from doing wrong to me behind my back, I can and have stopped them from being able to do wrong to me to my face. I am a scapegoat, no more.

So, here is what I learned, the one and only biblical answer. These family members were/are walking in sin. And they could have or can at any time turn(ed) to God and come out of that behavior, by walking in the spirit. Basically, the same reason anyone sins, flesh walking. It's not a brain disorder. It's not something that has taken over them that they cannot come out of if they wanted to change. It is pride. It is the same sinful pride that caused Cain to kill Abel. There truly is nothing new under the sun. This kind of family trouble goes back to the beginning of time.

Galatians 5:18-21 KJV 18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.  19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,  20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,  21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 

They which "do" such things means those who "Practice" these things. The Greek word for "Do" in this scripture is "Prasso," meaning "Practice as a lifestyle. Paul was not telling these Christians that if they do these things while stumbling, as in the Greek word, "Poieo," which means doing something at that time, that they were not going to go to heaven. Paul knew that nothing could separate us from Jesus, once saved, always saved. But he was absolutely speaking to Christians, letting them know that Christians are very capable of walking in the flesh, and for a time, behaving like those who are not going to heaven. He spoke of these things so that we would be aware of our actions, when they are NOT of the Lord. Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, wrath, strife, envyings, and murders (all of which I highlighted in Galatians 5:18-21,) people who are labeled, narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths behave as such. They idolize themselves. They commit witchcraft when they manipulate others into a state of confusion with lies and other deceptive tactics, known today as "Gaslighting". They have hatred, wrath, strife and envyings. And as Jesus said, if a person has hatred for someone, that person is a murderer. It brings death to a person, either sudden death or slow health issues death.

Now, notice in the next posted scripture here what is fruit of the spirit. This is the best measurement to know if you or a loved one is walking the spirit. Do you see these things. If you don't, then there is reason for concern. To say the least.

Galatians 5:22-26 KJV 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,  23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.  24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.  25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.  26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Galatians 5:16 KJV "This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh."

Galatians 5:17 KJV For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

Galatians 5:25: "If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit."

A final note: Yes, we are born with genetic issues that cause us to lean towards certain sinful behaviors, when walking in the flesh. And absolutely, our adulthoods are affected by our childhoods. Clearly a childhood that was filled with abuse, is going to affect a person as an adult. But some people, come out of such a childhood as an empath, while others come out leaning the other way. And even a childhood that for the most part was blessed, but had some event that shook the child up, like even an illness, can cause an emotional stunting in a person, which can cause poor behavior as an adult. But again, some people come out of such a childhood as an empath, while others come out leaning the other way. No matter what, all things are possible in Christ, nobody who truly wants to follow Christ is ever truly hopeless.

Also see: Walking In The Spirit -- An article on what this is.