According to Romans chapter 2, verses 14 through 16, the truth was written even on the hearts of Gentiles. They were the people who did not have the written law. This tells me it is written on everyone's heart. And when we look at what else this scripture says, it speaks of accusing and excusing one another with this knowledge. It also points to God's judgement of everyone's secrets.

In the day of the internet, people can be in touch with countless others on any given topic in a matter of seconds. And the topic of estrangement is one of the hottest topics today. It is so easy to forget to go to God for answers. People instead turn to complete strangers for answers that have no foundation in God's word. It's bad enough that people have a tendency to turn to in-person people who they know they can manipulate into telling them what they want to hear. But they can also just do a search online and find strangers to do the same.

Whether you are on the right side or the wrong side of a family estrangement (take that anyway you choose to take it), you can find people to say whatever you want to hear. There truly is nothing new under the sun.

It's the same old thing.

If you are at fault for an estrangement, you seek out anyone and everyone to tell you that you are not at fault. If you are not at fault for an estrangement, you seek out anyone and everyone to tell you that are not at fault. But I ask you this question. Why do you keep searching out others to tell you that you are right?

1) If you are not at fault for an estrangement, you know you are not at fault. And you don't need anyone to tell you.

2) If you are at fault for an estrangement, it does not matter how many others say you are not at fault. You know you are at fault. Others' words will not change this fact.

And then there are the books on estrangement. Oh, the books! The countless books! And I think I have almost every one of them in my home. You know what I do with them? I read them and then find a nice spot to leave them and eventually forget what they say, on a whole. I do recall some that had very bad advice, like taking blame when you are not at fault, just to get the estranged family member back in your life. I mean, welcome to egg-shell walking! Been there, done that! 

Even just saying, "Sorry," when you are not at fault, invites an already haughty person who has no problem treating you poorly to lay down the law, assert their control over you, and let you know that you cannot be trusted because you might just do it again. To that you will find yourself screaming inside, "DO WHAT AGAIN!"

Of course, you will only have this reaction to falsely taking the blame, if in fact you truly are not to blame. If you are to blame and a person even hints at you taking the blame, you will most likely have a sudden desire to throw yourself on the floor and toss a fit that any two-year-old would find extremely impressive.

Galatians 5:15 states: "But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another." Galatians goes on to teach us to walk in the Spirit. Therefore, if you are not to blame, this is your answer to learning to go on with your life and to live without waiting for a reconciliation. And if you are at fault, walking in the Spirit is the answer for you to grow into a person who can correct your wrong and make amends.  

You do not need anyone to tell you if you are wrong or right. The truth is written on your heart, by which to measure all. Talk to God and see if you feel peace or conviction. And remember if you in the right, if God be for you, who shall be against you? But likewise, if you are in the wrong, if God is NOT for you...

Debra...